EP 20 // Nick Surface

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign guys. Michael, straight with the Proper form podcast. Excited for this episode today. Honestly, Nick and I don't know each other too, too well yet, but I'm excited to continue to get to know Nick more through this episode and even more before and after this. But Nick Surface is here with me today with the Impossible Life podcast. Is it? Did I say that correct? [00:00:34] Speaker B: You did, yeah. [00:00:35] Speaker A: Okay. And, yeah, we actually saw each other literally in passing over in Prosper, Texas, at like, a salon suite, barbershop place. [00:00:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:45] Speaker A: And he had the Impossible Life podcast, like, sweatshirt on with the bright green and me just being nosy and not afraid to, you know, talk to a wall if I'm interested in it, and was like, hey, man, what's that? What's your sweatshirt about? And then we ended up connecting on social media and saw a lot of what they're doing and just, man, just aligned with a lot of, you know, I was like, I. I want to get to know this guy. [00:01:06] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I appreciate it, man. That was not a normal. I. My barber's in there, and I always get my haircut. That was a. Not a normal day. It was a good. I bumped you. I was like, man, that was kind of, you know, God appointment there to just bump into somebody. So, yeah, it was. I'm glad we. I'm glad our paths cross. I'm glad to be here. [00:01:22] Speaker A: Yeah. We ended up exchanging information, I think, or something, and following each other on social media. And then, you know, obviously I'm in this space trying to do podcasts in person and continue to build a guest list. And I was like, man, this guy would be awesome to have here. [00:01:35] Speaker B: Thanks, man. [00:01:37] Speaker A: Yeah, thank you. Yeah. So did you share it a little bit before we kind of got started? But I want to hear a little bit more about the Impossible Life podcast, about you and Garrett Yalls backgrounds. But one of the things you guys say kind of purpose within the Impossible Life podcast, that it exists to unleash men and women to live further. Excuse me. To live fearless lives full of purpose as God made them to be. [00:02:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:02] Speaker A: Can you elaborate more on kind of where that stemmed from? And like, where did. Where did the heart for the Impossible Life come from? [00:02:08] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, so I'll give you a little bit of our origin story. So, yeah, Garrett, My. My podcast co host is Garrett Uncle Bock, and he's a former Navy seal. And so the way that I came into contact with Garrett was I moved out here in early in the COVID timeline from 2020. I came out to. To Dallas from San Diego, California. And I. I ended up getting plugged into a church called Elevate Life Church, where we're still plugged in. And Garrett was just starting to lead the men's ministry there. So, you know, I went in there, and I was. At the time, I wasn't really serving God. I was just. I was. I'd been depressed. You know, I spent six years of my life depressed, and I was. That had been a few years in the past at this point, but it was still kind of. I was still unpacking and carrying a lot of the baggage from that, which I didn't know. But so I see this guy, and he's this Navy seal, and they're like, oh. Everybody's like, oh, he's a Navy seal. And I'm kind of like, okay. I'm like, well, what else is he. You know, I mean, because. And that was my. That was my attitude, which is a little bit disrespectful. Dis. Dishonoring and disrespectful, if I'm being honest. But that was the truth. And so as I was around this guy, I started observing him more. And one of the things I've always been a. A watcher of people, like, I like to pick up and learn from people, whether they're trying to teach me or not. I think that I'm a lifelong learner, and so one of the things that I always look to do is to learn all the time from people in every circumstance that I'm in. So I watched Garrett for a while, and I was like, man, this guy lives. You know, I didn't. Like I said I didn't care that he was a Navy seal. That did not get me the massive SEAL of respect. Even though I was from San Diego, where the seals train, I watched him. I was like, man, this guy really lives fearlessly. And that was one thing I knew I did not do, was live fearlessly. So I was like, okay. So I got in touch with Garrett, and I asked him to start coaching me. So he started coaching me, and we got along really, really well. And so one day I was running, listening to another podcast that I really love, and he was giving people advice on how to be happy. And I was listening. I was like, man, this guy should not be giving people advice on how to be happy. He's, you know, had a lot of difficulties and still has a melancholy to his life that I didn't think was. Was really what you'd want to imitate. And I was like, I know somebody who should be giving advice. And so I just text Garrett. I feel it was. Honestly, I can remember where it was. I was running in the park in front of my house. I feel like it was a real God moment where you just get one of those ideas in your head that's so loud, you're like, that was. It almost feels like someone else put. [00:04:18] Speaker A: The idea in there. [00:04:19] Speaker B: Yeah. And so I text him, I said, hey, would you be willing to do this? And he was like, well, it's a lot of work. And I was like, look, I'll do everything. You just gotta turn up at an appointed place in time and we'll go. So he's like, all right, check. So that was three and a half years ago, man. And we're 185 episodes in now. The average podcast, as we were talking about beforehand, only lasts six episodes. And it's been awesome, man. We, you know, we, we've built. I'm very proud. We're a top 50 podcast in Spotify in the religion and spirituality space. And we focus very much on, like, practical application of wisdom, living truly in line with God's design. [00:04:52] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:52] Speaker B: I think a lot of times, like our. The vision of the impossible life is to shift the perception of what it means to be a godly man. And what that means for us is. I mean, I grew up in a lot in, in Christianity and in church. And a lot of times it was like the Christian guy was like the busted up, fat dude in his khakis who drove a, you know, beat up station wagon and was kind of just getting by in life. And that was my perception of Christianity. A lot of growing up was, it's kind of like, oh, you know, well, we, we made it through the week. Praise God just bothered me, you know, like, it just really bothered me. And so in Garrett and in what, what we have at Elevate Life Church, where I still go, I just, I realized I was like, there's a. A whole different. There's a whole different side of following after God where it's like, when you start to understand God's ways and his wisdom, you can apply those things and you can win. And so in. That's a lot of what we cover is just showing how to practically apply the wisdom of God in your life. Not. And when I say win, I don't mean that everything gets easy and everything goes right and it all goes your way. I mean win in the sense that you can count it all joy. Like Paul, like the Apostle Paul says, you can count it all joy whenever you're in difficult circumstances. So that's where that comes from. We have the original, the great, the Great Commission, which is be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, subdue it, and take dominion. Right? And I believe that was the very first thing that God commanded humanity to do. And that still applies, right? It's not like that disappeared. We all know the Great Commission, which is, you know, go into all the world and make disciples. And that applies as well. But like, so we, we say what you read there about the, the podcast very much believe that men and women and our heart is for men. But, but we have a lot of women that listen to us as well. But like, God has a, a commission for, for people. The, the Great Commandment, I think it is where he talks about, like, you know, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth. And so we're about that, about, like, understanding God's ways and bringing God's ways into everything that you do that. You know, one of my life scriptures, and I'll, I'll be quiet here, but one of my life scriptures is Proverbs 3, 5 and 6, which is trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not in your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he'll direct your path. And that's really like an unlock for purpose. Because so often where we fall down on things is we're like, man, I trust you, God. But I really didn't know how this is going to work out. And it's like, you're not guaranteed. Not only are you not guaranteed certainty, I can guarantee you uncertainty. You're going to see purpose when you look back, but if you can truly submit your heart to God and lay it down and allow yourself to trust him, and that means it's not like, oh, but if you could fix this first, then I could focus on what you want. It's like, no, God, I trust you. Okay, so now in all your ways, acknowledge him. What does that mean? What does God say about marriage? What does God say about, you know, my mindset? What does God say about the way that I steward my body, my kids, how I should be at my job, how I bring justice and bring his ways into every single thing that I do? In all your ways, acknowledge him. And then what happens? He directs your paths, AKA God's going to take care of the purpose in your life. You don't have to sit there and know what it, what it is or be like, well, this is my purpose. You just need to honor God and be faithful with what you got. And he's going to make it work out for you. And so that's in line with our whole thinking, and that's why we exist and. And praise God. You know, we. Like I said, we've been doing this for three and a half years now. To see some of the messages that we get on email and the comments we get. It's so humbling, man, to just see how God's honored, what we've done and continue to do to be able to help impact people, which is really what we care about. [00:08:10] Speaker A: Yeah, dude. [00:08:11] Speaker B: Long answer to a short question. [00:08:12] Speaker A: Yeah, drop the mic. Yeah, I think that's really good. I love, like, the. And the purpose and. And got, like, there's. I was literally listening to a podcast yesterday. A guy named Quinda has Faith Hustle. [00:08:23] Speaker B: Okay. [00:08:23] Speaker A: Amazing podcast. You should check it out. Shout out to the Faith Hustle crew. And it's in bringing God into business and entrepreneurship. And, yeah, he had a great entrepreneur on there. And they were talking about sitting in the car and having the car and park and the hands on the ceiling, like, God, just. Just guide me and lead me. And it's like, well, kind of got to put it in drive for sure. Right? So, like, a long going back to, like, everything you just said. Like, we've got to put action into the life that God's given us here on Earth, but then trusting in the guidance that he's going to give us through that. [00:08:53] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's. That's where people fall down, is it's always. Always, like, our desire to need control and certainty and to know what's going to happen where, like, our understanding, our heart. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, hey, God, if you could tell me how this is going to work out, then, like, of course I'm going to be obedient. [00:09:08] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:08] Speaker B: And it's like, no, you trust that I'm God in it, and I will. You know, we all love to quote Romans 8. 28, which is, he makes all things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. Well, one of the challenges with his definition of good and our definition of good is they're very different. [00:09:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:22] Speaker B: Right. And, like, if we don't see it in the moment, we're like, well, this can't be God. And it's like, just. It's not over yet. Right? The story isn't over yet. Like, good is you being shaped and conformed into the image of Jesus Christ. Good is you maturing. And if, you know, there's this Great reel that's going around right now of Alex Hormozi. He said, if you wanted to make a strong kid, would you give them an easy life, or do you think that you would give them some difficulty if you want to make them tough, Would you. Would you have things all go their way, or would you have things fail and break so that they have to figure it out? I mean, we all know the answer to that. But then whenever it's like, we have this weird expectation of, like, wanting everything to be easy and smooth road. And it's like, I think God's a lot more interested in who you're becoming than what you're doing. Whereas, you know, we have this big American idea of, like, what we're doing is who we are, and that's absolutely false. [00:10:07] Speaker A: So, yeah, the vision I kind of get in love is like, the ice sculpture sculpting of, like, man. Just. It's. I can. If I want to sculpt something out of ice, it's just a big square block. [00:10:16] Speaker B: Right. [00:10:17] Speaker A: I could see a bird or a penguin or whatever it is that I want to sculpt, but I have to chip away at it to make it actual come to life and fall into, like, its purpose and what it's meant to be. [00:10:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:27] Speaker A: And in ways like God's calling us, like, he's chipping away. We gotta keep grinding and moving and creating that friction for his and hope for the good that he's in a. You know, align it with his purpose. [00:10:38] Speaker B: Yeah. There's a wonderful quote you'll, like, based on what you just said. So Michelangelo, whenever he he sculpted David, I think he was, like, the third or fourth person that tried to do it. Lots of people had tried to, like, sculpt this. This. This particular lump of. Of granite or whatever it was, or marble. I'm getting it wrong for the actual type, the rock. And so he finally, you know, he sat there and looked at it for a long time, and. And then he went in there, and, of course, he carved one of the greatest, most famous statues of all time in David. And they asked him, like, you know, they asked him about it, and he said he just removed everything that wasn't David. [00:11:12] Speaker A: Yes. [00:11:13] Speaker B: Because he had such a clear pict of who David was. [00:11:17] Speaker A: Yes. [00:11:17] Speaker B: And I love that. I think that that's, like, such a great analogy for what you just described. [00:11:22] Speaker A: 100%. Yes. That is so good. Well, I want to. Before we get on some other topics, I want to discuss that we had even talked to before about this, but I Love on. On the intro. And I think you kind of probably elaborated on this a little bit. You guys mentioned. What you guys know is that nothing is impossible. So instead of using that as an excuse not to try, you use it as the pursuit. Use the pursuit of impossible as an accelerant for greatness. [00:11:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:45] Speaker A: You then go on to say the solution to any impossible task. Start with this question. If I had to, what would it take? Yeah, like, what's, you know, how do you. How did you come up with the if I had to, what would it take? Like, what were you envisioning? Like, you know, this wall that I've got to climb and overcome? Like, Yeah, I think so. [00:12:04] Speaker B: So much of what we talk about in the Impossible Life podcast is mindset, right? We talk a lot about the way you think, whether you're a Christian or not. Like, the way that you think is impact. Impacting everything in your life. I really love cognitive behavioral therapy and neuro linguistic programming. Like, I'm a little bit of a psychology nerd, so I could go into that more, but I won't. But I will tell you that the world inside your head is what dictates everything you see, regardless of your circumstances. You know, there's some great quotes out there, like Viktor Frankl, if you know him from man's search for meaning. He was an Auschwitz survivor, right? So he goes to the worst. The worst concentration camp there is, and he has this great quote. He says, the last of the human freedoms is one AB1's ability to pick, you know, choose their. Their own attitude in any given circumstance. And he talks about between stimulus and response, there's a space, and in that space lies your lies, your choice. And in that choice lies your freedom. What does that tell you? This is a guy who's gone through the worst thing that most of us could imagine. He lost his wife, he lost all his life's work. He was a doctor, you know, just absolutely destroyed with nothing left. And he's in there going, you know what? But every day I still had a choice. Most people be like, I'm miserable, this is awful. And I hate my life. And this guy's telling you about, like, hey, you can choose even in those circumstances, which to me is testing at the extreme. So we talk a lot about the way that you think and the thought process of impossible. A lot of times what we call impossible is just the first inconvenience. Right. Like, most people want to quit at the first point of inconvenience, and we give up so easily. And I Mean, obviously, Garrett's such a blessing to me because he's tested these things at the extreme of being. I mean, if you know anything about Bud's training for the Navy SEALs, there's an 80% attrition rate. It's. It's just incredible. I mean, it's. It just buds alone. It has three phases, and, you know, they. They're just. People are getting rolled, they're getting hurt, they're getting, you know, disqualified. They're. Most of them are quitting. [00:13:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:50] Speaker B: You know, it's very difficult just to get through that. And so he's tested these things, and that. That thought process of, if I had to, what would I take? It is. What would it take? Is very much from him. And it's that thought process of, like, in order to start pursuing something impossible, you have to first believe you can. Right. There's great quotes that say it's only impossible until somebody does it. Right. And I think that's attributed to Batman, which. Who doesn't want to have a quote from Batman, But. But it's that thought process of, like, if you want to start doing the impossible, you got to believe it's. You got to believe you can. [00:14:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:18] Speaker B: So. And that's a question that opens up possibility. Oh, I can't. You know, this. No one can do. It's impossible. Well, if you had to, what would it take? Well, you know, I. Because, you know, think about it. If there's a bridge, right? Hey, I need you. I need you to move that mountain. It's impossible. Well, if you had to, what would you take? Well, I would take an atom bomb, and I'd blow it into a bunch of, you know, million pieces, and then I would get a bunch of construction trucks. Great. You just moved the mountain. Oh, so it's not impossible. You just thought that because it wasn't something that you saw an easy solution to. It's impossible. It's not impossible. Now, maybe it costs more than you're willing to pay, but it's still possible. And so it's that thought process. [00:14:52] Speaker A: Yeah. There's a entrepreneur I follow in Houston and his early 30s, has built a lot of successful companies. And one of kind of his jokes with when coming with friction and crazy things that happen in world and entrepreneurship is, with more money and a positive attitude, anything's possible. [00:15:11] Speaker B: But it's true. [00:15:12] Speaker A: It might take more time, it might take more money, it might take more blood, sweat, tears. But is there a possibility that it could actually become possible? [00:15:19] Speaker B: Yeah. Belief. Belief is such a powerful thing. We're all being driven by our beliefs all the time. And a lot of us don't know it because our beliefs, our core beliefs, are deep inside our subconscious, dictating the way we see the world and how we interpret information. But, like, when you can tap into the power of belief and you understand it, it's, you know, it's a force for sure. [00:15:39] Speaker A: Yeah, that's good. Yeah, man, I love that. So a few of the other topics kind of switch a little bit that you had discussed and even kind of maybe mentioned a little bit of your story with some of the depression and maybe in line with some of the anxiety. But overcoming depression. Excuse me. Overcoming anxiety and then depression. Intentional life designed to win in all areas of life. I'd love for you to touch on those two and we'll come back to the last one. [00:16:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, so I. So I just, you know, rewind on my story a little bit. I mean, if you rewind 12 plus years ago, probably about. Probably about 14 years at this point, man, you know, I was. I was very. I was still depressed, man. I was. I was very depressed. Didn't have any idea where I was going. A lot of anxiety, just real dissatisfaction. If anyone's ever struggled with depression, they'll know what this means. When you wake up every day and it just feels like Groundhog Day and nothing excites you. I'm talking about, like, pick your best Saturday. You've got a concert to go to, you're playing your favorite sport, you're doing whatever it is that you love, and even then you're like, whatever. Like, that was basically my existence for six years. And the only time I ever felt anything was when I drank and I hated it. I hated it ironically, or I shouldn't say ironically, because I don't know if it's the literal definition of irony, but, like, the reason I felt so depressed was because I felt like I had no purpose. So it was actually my strong desire and pull for purpose that I grew up with because I grew up in a Christian household. My parents told me God had a plan for my life, and, like, I believed it, man. I remember at a young age looking up at the stars and being like, I know, like, I'm meant for something, man. This is not just, like, I'm not just, like, here to die and maybe consume a little bit of things in between and have some fun. Like, there's something more for my life, you know? Went to Bible college in my early 20s, which is where I met my wife and lived over in The UK for, for nine years. And that's whenever I, that's whenever I fell into depression just because I so much of my idea of how it would go didn't line up and that was very disappointing. So like expectations not met combined with very difficult circumstances financially and in a, you know, it's a pretty cold culture over there in the uk. [00:17:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:40] Speaker B: Combined with some just very unintentional alignments. And what I mean by that is I just hung out with whoever I hung out with and you know, one of the best pieces of advice you can ever get and you can ever give is that you will become like the people you hang around with. Right. Everyone loves the Jim Rohn quote. You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So choose, you know, and then I think Tim Ferriss asked, added, choose wisely. Which is, which is logical, but it is, it's really important. And I had no real understanding of that. So I just hung out with whoever was around, which is the people I worked with. And so, you know, guess what they did. They drank and they partied and they did, you know, all the stuff that you would expect someone to do. And I was just kind of like, okay. So I was around that and just also adopted a lot of their thinking which was not a very hopeful, optimistic, growth minded way of thinking. And in the process of that like lost my faith as well. Just, you know, never could say I didn't believe in God, but definitely walked away from Christianity and was just like, yeah, that's just a religion, whatever. Because they have a historical view of Christianity over there. It's really interesting to them. Christianity is part of history which if you know church history and you know, some of those things, you can understand why because they played, you know, England played a large part in shaping things such as the new King James Version and all that sort of stuff of translation of the Bible is thanks to England. But anyways, so I sell that long, long background there. But so I, I, I climbed my way out of that, right? And I realized that I still have a lot of anxiety and I could go into how to climb out of depression, but that's a something else. But like with anxiety, one of the things about anxiety is it's always future based, right? And, and if you want to sum up anxiety, it's I don't know what to do. So all your anxiety boils down to being future focused on a scenario that hasn't happened but could happen. And if it did happen, you don't know what to do. So you're going to go ahead and take ownership of those feelings of panic now for something that hasn't happened. So it's like you want to pay the cost of something at least twice if it does happen. And here's the thing. It's a great quote from, from Mark Twain that says, in my life I've known a great deal of worry, most of which never came true. And it's like, yes, how many times are we sitting there, like, future focused for like on those things going, man, oh, if this happens, what am I? Well, here's a great thing. The more prepared you are, and this is something that I've gotten to witness with Garrett. The more prepared you are, the less you're going to feel anxious about things. Right. If anxiety is, I don't know what to do, peace would be, I know exactly what I'm going to do. And here's the thing, you don't know what you're going to do if it happens. So how can you have peace? Well, you can decide who you're going to be in the circumstance, no matter what. Right? And this is what happens when you become a core values based person. When you have core values and you understand that that's core values is you saying, this is what matters most to me. This is what I value and this is how I bring value. When you have those core values, you can live a core values based life. So you're like, I know who I'm going to be no matter what. And that's where you'll get peace is from understanding. Look, if the worst comes, you know, I said, for example, mine are grow, connect, faith, dream, and serve. Those are my five core values. So, like, if the world crumbles tomorrow, if everything goes wrong in my business, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to have faith in God. I'm still going to push myself to grow. I'm going to connect with other people, I'm going to serve them, and I'm going to dream of big things no matter what. Now that sounds really simple. It's simple. Not easy. But I will tell you, there's a lot more to it. But. But that's like when you start to understand, like I said, God's more interested in who you're becoming than he is about what you're doing. Because if he really wants something done, as we've seen, he can just do it himself. Like, God doesn't need our help, right? And there's. That's a real release for Us, so. But he's very interested in who we're becoming. So that, that's, that's. I could go more on that, but that's probably about it. [00:21:16] Speaker A: And that part is that tying a little bit to just also the depression piece and the intentional life design to win in the areas of life like, does that. [00:21:23] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, for sure. If, you know, we're a very busy society, right? In America, people, we book our schedules from sun up to sundown. And another way to think of that is that you're carrying weight, right? Like weight is responsibility. I remember when I was in my early 30s and I was just having kids, starting to have kids, it was like, oh, man, like these kids all depend on me. My wife stays home, she depends on me. Like, I've got all these bills, you know, what if this happened, I've got, like, everyone's pulling on me and like, you can really start to be like, man, like, you know, anxiety can creep in and all this, you know, you can start to play out the scenarios and, and guess what? What you just said is true, right? Like you are responsible. Well, there's a great analogy for, for us to see and it's bridges. What do bridges do? They carry weight. And how do they do it? They're engineered. They have structures, Right. So the stronger your structure is, the more weight you're going to be able to carry. [00:22:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:14] Speaker B: So I was naturally, I was like a very easygoing, free loving, like, grew up in Southern California, just want to surf and take it easy type of guy. But as I've grown up, I've realized like that that doesn't work very well because then anytime something's uncomfortable or inconvenient, you're like, oh, you know, it really puts you out of shape. So there's the structures of your life and being able to be intentional in the design of your life means that you know what matters most, you know what your priorities are and you live according to them. And so you structure your life so that you can do that. And that sounds really, you know, that that's a very high level way of putting it. But like I'm talking down to, I think one of the things that people manage the worst is time, right? It's, it's what we want the most and what we use the worst. And if you actually start to get your head around how you manage your time and really look at the, the patterns in your life, one of the greatest gifts we have is to be able to recognize patterns, right? Like, we all know that it's going to be a day tomorrow. Sun's gonna go down tonight, it's gonna come back up tomorrow. No one questions that. That's a small pattern that we all know about. [00:23:10] Speaker A: We can even get it down to almost the exact minute that's. [00:23:12] Speaker B: Well, yeah, we. Yeah, we can. And then we know the seasons and all these things, right. Like, so we have, we have so many patterns that we take for granted. But there's patterns in your life that are happening all the time. There's things that make you eat food that you shouldn't. There's things that happen that are going to trigger a certain emotion in you or trigger a certain playbook in your head. And the more you can start to develop and realize that these patterns are going on in your life and not only just see them, but then also prepare for what you're going to do when certain things come, you're not surprised. I think 99% of the stuff that happens to us that throws us off track is stuff that we should be able to see coming if we're really paying attention. Because our lives, there's a rhythm to our life. And when you pick up on that and you see that, you can start to build intentional structures and patterns in all areas. And there's a lot of them. But like, that's a very kind of high level way of. [00:23:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I know not necessarily talking about temptation, but what came to mind is like First Corinthians 10:13, right? Like being prepared. God provides a way out. But even just in the sense I've been a part of a more recent awesome men's group, like tying more into like, even just like emotion of. Of authors throughout the Bible. What emotion are they feeling? What's like the present feel that they have and just tying that to like, to us as men. This is obviously men's group, but about our emotions and like, what are we feeling now? Because going back to just the anxiety and the depression of, we're always kind of sometimes living very more so in the future, but also in the past rather than like, man, where am I right now? [00:24:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:33] Speaker A: And that even ties into a lot of what you're saying of connecting into being intentional with the time that we have. How are we using it? How. What emotions are we pulling in or pulling out of the things in the playbooks and whatnot that come through our mind and being able to be prepared for those. [00:24:49] Speaker B: Yeah, because your emotions are like a lens, right. It's like you can look at a lemon if you put on some blue Glasses. What color is the lemon? [00:24:55] Speaker A: Yeah, it's green. [00:24:56] Speaker B: Oh, no, it's still yellow. But it looks green to you. [00:24:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:59] Speaker B: And that's the whole point. [00:25:00] Speaker A: Yes. [00:25:01] Speaker B: And that's what emotions do is they, they color things in a way that is actually not real. Your emotions are a horrible compass. They're a wonderful indicator. Your emotions will give you clues as to what you're thinking and your core beliefs are underlying it. But if you. But most people just follow emotions around, I mean, sports fans are some of the worst ones in the world for this. And I'm a huge sports guy, so I always use that as an example because I've been there. It's like if you want to see how, how foolish you can be, take, take. Just look at some of the sports reels out there of people breaking their TVs and losing their mind. Yeah. Because they're so caught up in a moment and that's like the hallmark of following your emotions is like you're all, you're caught in short term mode and you only see in the color that you do. And it's, it's just a horrible way to live. [00:25:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:42] Speaker B: You will not do wise things if you are led by your emotions. That's for sure. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Good. And honestly, a trick question and I fell for it. [00:25:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, hey, that's good that you did. Yeah. Right. Yeah. [00:25:50] Speaker A: But seriously, like, yes, that definitely. I mean, you dumb that down into like a very easy way to understand of the lens of emotion. [00:25:59] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And, and like I'm not like a barrier emotions guy by any stretch of the imagination. I think. Emote. You gotta understand like God made us with emotion for a reason. [00:26:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:07] Speaker B: But you don't want to follow them. Right. Like, and that, that's the difference is like, you need to be, you know, emotional intelligence and awareness is a really important skill to have. And also you, you can also learn to navigate and generate, you know, the emotions that you, you know, that you want, which is an amazing thing. But that's another. [00:26:26] Speaker A: That's good. Yeah, it's a whole nother podcast. [00:26:28] Speaker B: It's a whole other topic. [00:26:29] Speaker A: Yeah, that's great. Well, man, the other one was the power of self leadership. [00:26:33] Speaker B: Yeah, man. Every. So every reel that you've seen of insert, you know, Jocko Willink, David Goggins, whoever it is that you love. Like, and they're just talking about, I get up and I train and I do this and I train you. Don't feel like it. I train that. That is self leadership. Right. Self leadership is being able to lead yourself to do what you know to be done needs to be done, how it needs to be done, when it needs to be done, regardless of how. [00:26:59] Speaker A: You feel, you tie in kind of. You might even talk about it. Just what's the difference between motivation and discipline? [00:27:05] Speaker B: Oh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, the difference between motivation and discipline is that discipline's like a muscle, whereas motivation is, is. Is like a fuel source. Right? Muscles get stronger, fuel sources can go cold. So, right. There's like, there's lots of different sources of motivation. Right. And you know, most people are motivated by two things. They're either motivated by pain or by pleasure. And the problem with that is, is that you can get far enough or, or, or get enough of those things that you don't want anymore. So, like, let's say, like, I've been broke before, man. And when you're broke, you know what, you want to not be broke, man. You want to, like, you will do anything to not be broke. And so, you know, you say a lot of people are like, man, I want to be a billionaire. Here's the truth. I think a lot of people, if they started down the path to being a billionaire, they'd probably stop after they made a couple million because what you wanted was to not be broke. You wanted to be able to do whatever you wanted with your. Your money. And then whenever you got enough of that, you were, you were motivated by pain. You got far enough from the pain that you weren't broke. And it's like, well, I want the pleasure of the money. And then you got enough of it and you didn't want it anymore because those things run out. What the. The best fuel source is purpose. Because purpose is the more you get of it, the more you want of it. And that is, That's a, That's a motivating source that's far beyond. And purpose is really only comes from God. I mean, we can give purpose in its simplest form. Purpose is just, why am I doing this? But when you have purpose, that's eternal purpose, that comes from the Creator. That's whenever you will go way further beyond yourself, you'll do things that you didn't think you was possible. You'll keep going whenever it hurts. And, and it's because you. Purpose pulls you forward, right? It's not something that you're just kind of. That's pushing you, it's pulling you. And that's very different. [00:28:42] Speaker A: You're not doing it for the exchange or for. To the equal to equal. The equation of pain or Pleasure. [00:28:48] Speaker B: Correct. Yeah. It's not input output. It's a transformational thing. [00:28:52] Speaker A: So that's good. [00:28:53] Speaker B: Yeah. But, yeah, disciplines of muscle. Like you were saying. You asked about discipline. Discipline's a muscle. It builds confidence. The more you do things, the more disciplined you get, the more confident you become, right? Because you can start to say, hey, I've done this, I've done that. You can remind yourself of some of the times when you've done whatever needed to be done and you grow in your discipline. But self leadership comes is a little bit different. Like, discipline is a part of self leadership. But to me, self leadership is having, first of all, a clear understanding of who you want to become and who God's made you to be. There's a lot that goes into it. Garrett and I actually do this thing called Ideal you, which is like this tool that we've developed together where it's basically like vision casting for yourself. And I think a lot of people, we don't always stop and take stock of, like, who we are and who we're becoming. It's kind of like, you know, if you're on default mode, which most of us are, you're just sort of like, well, these are my parents, and this is where I came from. And, you know, I'm just trying to do the best I can. And, you know, I hope. I hope things I do better than my parents, and I hope my kids turn out well. And, you know, we have a lot of things I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do the best I can. And that's sort of the thought process, right? And there's some. You know, that's a somewhat noble approach to try and do good and to try and try and do things that way. But when you can get a lot more intentional and understand the power of clarity, whenever you have a clear vision of who you want to become. You know, in my phone, I have my ideal me statement. It describes exactly who I want to be in every arena. When I say arena, it's who I want to be as a man. So I want to be as a follower of God, as a leader, as a husband, as a father, as a friend, you know, and as a son and as a brother, like, all these different things. As a businessman, like, it's what I see for who I'm becoming. And that's whenever it's like, self leadership kicks in. Because now you have the burden of backup, I should say, whenever you come into those times, because we all don't feel like doing stuff, right? But when You've got a really clear vision and you can see exactly what you want for your marriage. I want to be love. I want to be in love with my wife. Be connected. I want to value her and I want her to know that she is. I want to be a doting husband. Like, I want her to know that she's the most important person in the world to me. And I want to have the kind of marriage that other people can model themselves after, first and foremost with my kids. I don't want my kids to have to, like, figure out all the junk that me and my wife never figured out. I want them to be able to be like, man, our parents were a great example of marriage. If we just do what they did, it's going to work for us. So that drives me a lot. Right. I have a standard. And a standard is an unbreakable. You never compromise on it. There's no reason to ever break it in my. I don't raise my. I don't raise my voice with my kids. I don't raise my voice with my wife. I don't lose my temper ever. You can ask my wife and kids. I'm not saying that I've always been that way, but in the past four plus years, that's been the standard for me because I just realized I can't sit there and say I want these things and then not be able to live to a standard. Is it easy? No. Are there some practical things that I have to do to make sure that I hold that standard? For sure there are. But I will tell you that like anything, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And that to me is self leadership. Because I have a clear picture of what I want. And clarity really is power. [00:31:50] Speaker A: Yeah. And so I want to devil's advocate, kind of ask a question off that, you know, for someone. And you even kind of just mentioned, like, man, I haven't always been that for sure. I wasn't always that. For someone listening like, holy guacamole, this is like drinking from a water hose. [00:32:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:05] Speaker A: How. How would you encourage someone that. To pursue? Maybe a community or group. [00:32:09] Speaker B: Sure. [00:32:10] Speaker A: I know you guys even have some additional coaching. I'm not even trying to plug that. Yeah, but please do. If it can add value. Just like, like, man, I just even maybe need some. Some coaching. Kind of like Garrett did for you. Like, how can I get to that navigating funnel to get to that self leadership for myself? [00:32:24] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, look, there's no two ways about it. It takes work, man. Like I, but like, you have to. We, we are trained in society to want things quick and easy. And I think, you know, I could go down that road. And I'm not trying to sound like the old guy, you know, like an old man talking about like, oh, microwave society, but it's, it's actually true. And the analogy I always use is there's principles. Principles govern outcomes. And what I mean by that is principles, you see, principles and patterns. If you understand the principles, you know how to generate outcomes. The problem is that we sail by principles all the time. If you're talking about growth, which is what you're talking about, like right now, I lose my temper all the time. I want to grow into being a man that doesn't ever lose his temper. Well, the principles of growth are repetition, consistency, which is like, how much. And time. Oh, man, time. Shoot. Yeah, and the consistency matters, right? You can, you can't violate any of those principles and expect to have growth. I use the example of a tree. If you want to grow an oak tree and you knew exactly how much light it took and exactly how many nutrients and all the stuff and how much water, you plant that little acorn, you pour all the, all the stuff on it, guess what you did? You just killed it. You killed the seed, right? You know, if you set up heat lamps and all that sort of stuff, because time, and in this case, consistency as well, they're principles. You have to do the right things in the right amount for a period of time. Sometimes you don't know how long in order to get the results. So my encouragement would be, don't have to have it right now, and don't ask yourself, like, what you think you could do for the next three months or three years. What could you do that you'd never have to stop? What are the little consistencies that you could do every single day, no matter what, that over time would compound and become so great that, that you would look back and be like, man, look at, look how far I've come. And at that point, you know, nobody could shortcut their way to what you have because you have so much compounding and so much growth and repetition in there that, like, at that point you're, you're a different person and that. And so you're going to start, you're going to fail, you're going to try and do things and you're going to have to pick yourself back up. But it's like, what are you willing to do for. Forever? Because we quit on things, like I said earlier, in this podcast all the time. And if you can learn, if you can have the mindset that, like, I'm the turn up every single day, I'm going to do the right things forever. And if I'm doing this, this, and this, and I'm not getting the results I want, rather than being upset or discouraged or tried my best and quitting, I'm going to say, well, there must be a this I'm missing. And then if I had to, what would it take? Okay, so, yes, yes, we do coaching. We have a mindset. Our mindset mastery program, where we literally teach people a lot of these. I'm touching on a lot of different tools and skills that we actually teach people how to use. We have two live calls. You have on demand access to all these. All this information. And we have a good program for how it actually administers it to you so that you can learn it. And I also do personal coaching, but you can find out all that at the Impossible Life. That's our website. So that's where you can find out everything about me and Garrett and what we do. [00:35:12] Speaker A: Dude, that's awesome. Yeah, man, I'm fired up. [00:35:15] Speaker B: Good, man. [00:35:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm ready, like, need to go throw down for a workout or something. [00:35:19] Speaker B: Let's go. Yeah, man. This is our life, man. It's a great thing to be able to wake up every morning and like, our saying on the podcast is, today matters. And what that is, is that's an urgency statement. It's a. You know, I spent a lot of my life on like a five and two time frame orientation, which, what I mean is, spent five days working so I could do two days of what I wanted. And it all started over again, man. And it was just like, oh, I gotta get to Friday. Right? And that's how we live by default. Whereas today matters is like, there's no five and then two or, you know, whatever your time frame may be, it's like, no, this day, the one that I have right now sat across from Michael having this conversation. This is an important conversation. Well, how do you know? I've decided it to be so Because I believe that God's going to use whatever we're doing. There might be somebody out there that has to. That needs to hear something that we said, that that is going to ignite a spark in them. That's what I believe. Whenever I do things is like, I don't know if that's going to happen, but I'm going to trust that whatever needs to happen, that God is going to use it. Because like I said, I don't have to make purpose come about. I just have to honor him, be faithful to what he's given, and glorify him, seek to glorify God, which glorify means to reveal him. So I want to reveal God in how I do everything, which means if I'm working, I'm going to work and do everything to the maximum ability, even if I hate it. I'm going to give everything I got right, and I'm going to do it with a good attitude. I'm going to encourage other people and I'm going to seek to just do right by people, regardless of what they do to me. And I'm going to trust that God's going to use all that and put his super on my natural. And you know what I got to say, so far, it's worked out pretty well. God is faithful. [00:36:49] Speaker A: Let's go. [00:36:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:50] Speaker A: That's awesome, dude. [00:36:50] Speaker B: Yeah, man. [00:36:51] Speaker A: You touched a little bit on where we could find you the Impossible Life. [00:36:55] Speaker B: Yeah, that's our website, the Impossible Life. Yeah. [00:36:57] Speaker A: Platforms, if you want to share those. And then I would love to just end on and conclude on just what are some of the impossible things that you guys are pursuing? [00:37:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:05] Speaker A: But. Yeah, where can we find you? The podcast? All right. Social media, all of it. [00:37:11] Speaker B: Yeah. So you can find us at the Impossible Life on everything. We're on Instagram, we're on Facebook, we're on YouTube. We've got a Patreon, if you know what that is. Like I said, the website's the Impossible Life. You can just search the Impossible Life on literally any podcast app and we're there. So, yeah, it's. It's. That's. That's how you get a hold of us. [00:37:29] Speaker A: Awesome. [00:37:30] Speaker B: And I'm@nick surface1 on Instagram, if you want to follow me. So Garrett's. [00:37:34] Speaker A: You know, Garrett's. [00:37:35] Speaker B: Garrett's at Garrett Uncle Bock. He would tell you that he gives me a grief because mine is Nick Surface One. He's like, I killed all the other Garrett Uncle Box. Yeah. From a Navy seal. You could say that he maybe did. [00:37:46] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:37:46] Speaker B: Yeah, no, no. Although he has. I always give him grief. He has. He has a very unique last name, shall we say. So I don't think there's that many Garrett Uncle Box. [00:37:53] Speaker A: Very true. [00:37:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:54] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, man. And then lastly. Yeah. What. What are some of yalls impossible kind of pursuits that y'all are doing? Yeah, business, personal, whatever. [00:38:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, we've. We've run, you know, 100 milers together and stuff like that. And we've done, we've done some fun things. We climb mountains. We do something difficult every year together, which is a lot of fun. We lead the men's ministry at Elevate Life Church where there's over 400 men. If you're in the Dallas Fort Worth area, come see us. We're on Teal and Maine in Frisco and we meet every Saturday morning at 7am you can come be with 400 other dudes. I promise you, you will not have ever experienced anything like this. And that sounds like, okay, whatever, but I'm telling you man, I've lived in the uk, I've lived on the East Coast, I've lived on the west coast, now I live in Dallas. And before I went there, it wasn't just that I'd never experienced a room like that. I'd never even known anybody who had been to a men's group like that. It is truly unique and I feel very honored to be able to be one of the leaders in that room. So I'll just say come see us if you're in the area because I'd love to meet people and just get men plugged in. Because the vision for the impossible life, and very much the vision for my own life and the mission that I'm on is I want to see men be men the way God intended them to be. Like our vision, truly the most impossible thing that we're pursuing is to shift the perception of what it means to be a godly man. Okay, that sounds great. What does that actually mean? Well, you know, I don't think godly men right now, I think what the world is waiting to see is a truly transformed man. Like a man that actually pursues God and reflects him with every single thing that they, that he's got in all areas of his life. You know, I think what we, what we become, what's very normal is a guy. And if this is you, I'm not beating you up because I've been there as well. But it's the guy that's like, oh, I love Jesus. And then like five minutes later that same dude's like trying to, you know, screw someone over on a business deal or, you know, he's, he's got a busted up marriage or his family's falling apart and we all, it's not that we have to be perfect by any stretch of the imagination. Like I'm very real about all this stuff. I've, I've Had a not functioning marriage. You know, I'm not throwing stones from my glass house by any stretch of the imagination. But what I believe is that God has given us his word, he's given us his spirit, and he's given us each other so that we can know him, know his ways, and truly be his people in the earth. And what his people in the earth are here to do is to display what it means to be a follower of Jesus, to be a follower of God. And that means that like in all your ways, like I said, you're glorifying him, you're revealing his nature. And when you do things God's way, it works, man. And so like our perception is that we see more men raise up to be, be honoring, loving, serving protectors, providers and leaders that for themselves, for their family, for their communities and for the church, that that's really what we want to see is that men would be restored to that and that they would understand what that means. It's not a toxic masculinity like oh, we're here to dominate. It's no, we're here to serve in the way that we're here to lead in the way that Jesus said, which is servant leadership, which is actually how many people are you lifting up, not how many people are under you. And so it's, it's, it's, it's. That is really what we're giving our life to. Like I will be doing this until the day there's no longer breath in my lungs, man. And, and I really mean that is just to try and with everything that I got and just trusting that God's going to put his super on our natural to just pursue that and to pursue seeing men transform so that they can know God and truly live their lives knowing Him. Because it all flows from there. [00:41:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Dude, that's awesome man. I, I really appreciate you being here. [00:41:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:06] Speaker A: Jumping on with me. [00:41:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:07] Speaker A: Especially just at the, at the just freaking throw of like, hey, we just messed met passing going to get a barber cut. [00:41:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:15] Speaker A: And then now we're here. So again, even just aligning of like I think that was nothing but God for sure intervention. [00:41:20] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm honored to be here, man. Thank you for having me. [00:41:22] Speaker A: Yeah. Thank you for just being humble to, to come on and even me listening, jumping into, listening to some of Yalls episodes, they've really given me some fruit and some positivity and encouragement and so I'm excited to continue to even dive more into those episodes. But thank you so much for joining us. Any last things that you got? [00:41:41] Speaker B: No, man, I. I'm just grateful to be here, man. It's a good conversation. Enjoyed it. [00:41:45] Speaker A: Well, dude, thank you so much, guys. This is the end of this episode with Nick Surface. Make sure you guys go check them out. The Impossible Life. And if you want to get around some awesome dudes and some great men pursuing the Lord, go over on Saturday. [00:41:56] Speaker B: Yes. [00:41:57] Speaker A: What time? [00:41:57] Speaker B: 7Am 7am you don't have anything to. [00:41:59] Speaker A: Do at 7am get up out of bed. That's what you got to do. [00:42:02] Speaker B: I mean, come on, that's not even early. Let's go. You're right. [00:42:04] Speaker A: It was 4:30. Okay. But yeah, so 7aM Saturday mornings. Nick will be there. And thank you guys for listening. Yep. See you guys later.