EP 10 // Sophie Streight

[00:00:16] Speaker A: All right, what's up, you guys? Michael here from the proper form podcast. Pretty excited. And honestly, maybe the most nervous I've been for an episode because I have my lovely wife, Sophie, also known as Sophia, straight with me here on this episode today. This is episode number nine. Sophie, how's it going, babe? [00:00:39] Speaker B: It's great. [00:00:39] Speaker A: A little nervous, but you excited? This is your first podcast you've ever been on? [00:00:43] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm normally a behind the scenes kind of gal, so this is okay. A little out of my box here. [00:00:50] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, thanks for coming on. Sooner or later you probably knew that this was coming. [00:00:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I just thought I would have more than like a 36 hours notice. [00:01:00] Speaker A: Yeah, well, hey, we had a slot time open up and we just thought who would be the best to fill this position in this time. And actually, Michael child said it was you. I didn't even say that. So. No, yeah. Thanks, sweetheart. I love you so much. [00:01:19] Speaker B: Love you. Anything for you. [00:01:21] Speaker A: Thank you. Yeah, I'm sorry, that comes with a good and bad. All right, so, Sophie straight, we are going to talk about, of course, how we met, a little bit of background of Sophie, her life, our crazy life with our awesome little boys and more. But here's some things that define Sophie. We're going to try our best to not cry, but it's okay if we do. [00:01:46] Speaker B: It sure is. [00:01:48] Speaker A: And we're. Yeah, we're going to be real. We've gone through a lot of life together and before we even met each other. So Sophie straight is a wife to me, Michael Strait, she's my bride. She's a mom to six. We'll talk more about that, I'm sure. Two of which are on this earth with us, Jeremiah and Josiah. Jeremiah is four years old. Josiah is three years old. They're about to be five and four, so they are 14 months apartheid. Sophie is a sister to five brothers. Lord have mercy. I'm sure we'll talk a little bit about our dating story, but Sophie and I broke up multiple times, all due 1000% to me. So her having five brothers and a very fearfully loving father, there are some moments that I was very scared, but now I love them, they love me. I think she can back me up on that. Sophie is also a salon owner, an entrepreneur. Her and my sister have Salon 31 here, right in McKinney, Texas. Actually attached to luxury lifestyle training. If you haven't seen the space, it sounds like really weird, but there's actually a third door to the front of our suite where we kicked out an interior wall to meet right at that door entrance. So they have their full own entrance and exit into their salon studio. They've got three awesome chairs in there. Some beautiful photography was done again by Michael child, but check out their instagram page. Salon 31 and co. I think you can also follow Sophia straight. Yeah, just typing Sophia straight. S t r e I g h t. Not stra. And Sophie's a fighter. She has fought through a lot in her life. Some that we'll probably discuss and share here on this episode and some others that might be for some more one on one, intimate conversational ears. But Sophie, as I've got to know her and I've got to know her story before she knew me. She is a huge fighter. She's been through a lot. Try not to get emotional just yet, but I would be very confident to say, and I hope I can say that I probably know her the best on this world, outside of her mother, maybe, and some of her really close friends. But Sophie has fought very hard for the things that she loves. She's fought through things that she's been through, and she's continuing to fight for, gosh, just justice and righteousness for herself, for her beliefs, also for her kids and where she wants to help continue to navigate our family, but also even more so for people and others, and especially other women. So, Sophie, thanks for being here, babe. [00:05:01] Speaker B: Of course. Thanks for having me. [00:05:02] Speaker A: Can you dive in to a little bit before we get to the kids in madness? You are a sister to five brothers. How was that growing up? [00:05:13] Speaker B: Wild. I mean, you see our two little boys, so just triple that, literally. [00:05:21] Speaker A: Yeah. Share a little bit more with me, if you will, on your brothers. Three of those are biological, two are step. Could you share a little bit more of y'all's journey? Growing up, being the only sister, navigating a divorced family and then bringing in two other crazy dudes as brothers. How was that? [00:05:46] Speaker B: Yeah. My mom and stepdad, which I don't really like to call him step because we know he's glue to our family, but they got married when I was eleven, so then that brought in the two other boys, but we knew them prior to them getting married because they played. One of them played ball with my eldest brother, and so they'd always kind of been around. So I really. I haven't known life without them for the most part. And, I mean, it was madness. We were at every sporting event known to man. I don't know how my mom did it. She's like Octawoman with October. I don't know how she does it, but, yeah, I mean, it was crazy, and I wouldn't change a thing. Most people would think that I was just this spoiled, doted on little girl, but it was quite the opposite. It was. I was the 6th boy sometimes. And one of my brothers denies this to this day, but I can think. [00:07:05] Speaker A: Of who that is. [00:07:06] Speaker B: He held me over the balcony by my shirt and my ankles and was, see, sawing me in the air, pretending like he was going to drop me on a pile of pillows that they had created at the bottom. And he denies it to this day, you know, 25 years later. But that's okay. I mean, we played army. We would go to the shooting range and we would collect the empty bullet casings, and we'd put them in our little bags and we'd take them home, and then we would play war. It was like Vietnam or World War Two in our home. We would turn over the ottoman and use that as a wall for our bunker. And then the other brothers would be up in the balcony and launching bullets down. [00:08:01] Speaker A: Just bullet casings? [00:08:02] Speaker B: Yeah, bullet casings. Empty bullet casings down to the bottom floor. And one time it hit one of my other brothers directly in between the eyes. So, I mean, just constant chaos, woofleball inside the house, you know, just, golly, making my mother go mad. [00:08:23] Speaker A: I can only imagine just the amount of things that we have, like broken and beaten up and baseboards dinged in our house. I can't imagine what that would be like with three more boys, broken banisters. [00:08:35] Speaker B: Broken hand railings, you know, you name it. [00:08:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, so could you share a little bit more on. I mean, love your dad, your real dad, Frank. And how has. How. How did that relationship for you shift, not only as a girl and a young daughter and a sister, but how did it shift for you with your fatherly connection with Willie as you began to get close with him? I think, you know, unfortunately, there's a lot of families that end up separating, and as a female, I think you could probably add a lot of value on the value and the, like, firmness that Willie brought into your life at a young age, being the only female in the family and sister. So could you share kind of the pros and not necessarily the cons, but, like, how that shifted and has changed your perspective on fatherhood and a man's role in a family? [00:09:45] Speaker B: Yeah, man, this is a hard one, I would say, with Willie, my stepdad, one of the best qualities in him is he is a very good listener. And so there would be nights where he's sitting on the couch and it's 10:00 school night, you know, and he's sitting in his leather chair and I'm on the couch and he's muted, whatever classic football game he's watched 72 times. And he just will ask a question and he waits for me to answer. And it. There's no rush, there's no expectation. He just really wanted and still wants to know my heart and know what's going on in this head of mine. And so I would say that was one of my greatest saving graces growing up, especially through high school. And all of that was just, I knew that I had someone that would really, really listen to me and then also have questions to ask in return. Not just that one question, but he would be listening, so much so that he would have an even better question to come after whatever I had said. And so that was huge for me and still is. And then with my real dad, Frank, he is such a gentle soul, and there's so much to that story to unpack. I mean, we could have 47 episodes just on the whole dynamic of it all. But for sure, he's just, like I said, he's just so gentle. And I think it's true what they say of you don't know what you don't know. And his parents weren't super involved in his life in a really emotional way. And so I feel as if he didn't really have that to go off of. But I. I love my dad. He has a special place in my heart. He hasn't always been there and that is really hard. But I still love him and I hope he knows that I love him. Yeah. Epic fail. [00:12:41] Speaker A: Yep. With your relationship with Willie and your dad, Frank, how were they able to be there in ways that maybe your mom wasn't able to, not because of her, like, not like being present, but just like, the actual difference of male and female. Like, how has, as you grew older and wiser and figured start to learn more what you didn't know and maybe out of stubbornness or just growth, how has those dynamics of, like, mother daughter, father daughter, how has there been differences in relationships there? In the relationships? [00:13:33] Speaker B: I would say the biggest difference is I call Willie a lot when I need help with a solution and sometimes. [00:13:49] Speaker A: Fixing stuff at our house disposal. Okay. Yeah. [00:13:57] Speaker B: You know, things like that for protection, for more black and white direction on things in life. And then for mom, it's, she's that emotional connection. She's the, and I don't this, like, if I need that shoulder to cry on, and I don't need to even say a word. But just to be that's who my mom is going to be, you know, that's changed over the years, and it's shifted in, I think, stronger ways, I would say just with my maturity and my faith. You know, I love spending time with my mom. It's always a good time, but she's definitely more of that emotional, nurturing connection. And then I would say the father role is, I need a solution. I need black and white. I don't want the all the in between. Just cut to the chase. [00:15:00] Speaker A: Nice. Well, last question I want to ask kind of off of just your family dynamic, how you grew up, five brothers. How could you encourage any women or any even guys that have came from a divorce family or maybe didn't have a close relationship with their real father, but then maybe was, like, really close with their mom or their dad, depending on their dynamic? How could you. What value or wisdom or grace could you shine light on to that, of, like, maybe ownership of what you've taken on to own what you can own in those relationships and those speed bumps, but also the grace that can maybe be given to the parent of where they maybe lacked or weren't there when they would have wished they would have been there. [00:15:53] Speaker B: Right. One of the hardest things to realize as you get older is knowing that your parents are humans, that somehow, you know, they're not superheroes, and they will make mistakes, and that doesn't change. And so I think being an adult now, it's a lot easier for me to have grace and understanding of, like you said, where my parents may have lacked in certain areas. I can see how hard parenting is, and I have so much more grace for any of those areas because they're humans. They're not superhuman. And at the end of the day, you know, the only perfect person on this world or in this world is Jesus. And so that's the model that we follow after, even over our own parents. [00:17:06] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I think that's definitely good of, like, they're not superhuman. And by no means is that, like, a diss or, like, you did this wrong. You did this right. I mean, it's just the fact of, like, yeah, no one's perfect. We can't be everywhere, all the time, every time, and understand every emotion and thought process and what you said, actually, you meant to say this. And, yeah, it's just. It's helped me as a parent of. And thinking about my parents and yours and of, like, there was not. There wasn't necessarily anything wrong. Fully wrong or fully right. It's just going back to just figuring out as you go and trying to understand and just do your best. Yeah. And. Yeah. Well, that's great. I appreciate you sharing on some of that. How has it been being a hairstylist? Sophie was actually going to school. We met at Texas A and M. I actually went to blend for two years. Sophie was going to blend, and her degree, track and goal was to be a nurse. [00:18:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:18] Speaker A: And you stopped doing that as we started dating. And you met my. My sister Emily, who's really old, my second oldest sister, and she was a hairstylist. She only does hair. She's a hair cutter. Yes, she cuts hair. She does a hair. [00:18:37] Speaker B: She's a cutting specialist. [00:18:38] Speaker A: Cutting specialist. Thank you. That just sounds like cutting specialist. Yeah. Very interesting. But she is a rock star with hair cutting, but she doesn't do color and extensions like you do. So can you share a little bit on the. How you pivoted and ended up going that way instead of nursing? [00:18:57] Speaker B: Yeah. I wanted to be a NICU nurse. That was kind of what I had always had my mind set on. And the lord really closed that door hard. So I was. Yeah. And fast and getting ready to graduate and knowing that we wanted to be married, it was really scary not knowing where to go, what to do with my life, as far as career choices go. And so I will never forget, I was sitting in church, and we were having a moment of silence, stillness prior to the sermon. And I just asked God to show me some sort of direction because I was completely lost. I had no clue what I wanted to do at that point. My plan B was to become a career personal trainer and just keep the. [00:20:03] Speaker A: I'll hire you. [00:20:05] Speaker B: Keep that train going. Cause that's what I was doing at the time. And I was like, okay, well, I mean, I like what I do, so I guess. Guess this is it. I don't know. It just felt really foreign to me. And so I was sitting in church, and I was asking God to just give me some direction. And then later that afternoon, I was in Houston, and I was helping my mom clean out her closet, and I get a call from Emily. I was like, hello? And she says, I've got it. I know what you need to do. I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, for a career, she said, you should be a hairstylist. She's like, you have a natural eye for it, and I think you'd be great. It's like, okay, that's so out of left field. But stranger things have happened, I guess. So I started doing some digging, and then I did a couple tours of some cosmetology schools, and the moment I walked into the aveda school, I knew it just. I had this full peace come over me. So it was really cool how I had asked God earlier that day to give me some direction. And then Emily called, and I was like, okay, that can't be a coincidence. And it just felt right. So. [00:21:27] Speaker A: Yep. Yes. Now, you guys have a beautiful salon space. Three chairs. Just y'all, too, right now. You guys use that third chair a lot for processing of clients. Emily does cuts. You do cut color, and extensions. If correct me if I'm wrong, most of your clientele is probably a lot of color. [00:21:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:48] Speaker A: And it works synergistically. A lot of Emily's clients that want color go to Sofie now. I am so not smart, nor have any desire. I'd probably rather, like, pull my fingernails off to learn and understand chemical processing on color and all that. But somehow, Sophie, I'm not just saying this cause she's a my wife, she has done so many color corrections and gained so many new clients, whether she's one of them or not, off people literally coming to her, crying, bawling, terrified that their hair is green or orange or yellow, and somehow color corrected their hair without frying it all off. So, like, when did that click for you? How. How does it click for you on doing color? And when someone comes in with a vision, an idea, how do you navigate that to bring reality to the actual timeline of, like, oh, I'm black, and my hair is black, but I want to be bleach blonde. Like, how do you navigate that conversation of, like, that's not going to happen today. [00:22:53] Speaker B: Right? Yeah, it can be a little tricky. You know, you definitely have to know your color wheel. [00:23:00] Speaker A: Literally. [00:23:01] Speaker B: Very color wheel. Important. Yeah, it's a wheel, and it has all the colors on it. [00:23:06] Speaker A: Got it. [00:23:07] Speaker B: And you have to know what either cancels out or complements the other color. So that's how you correct someone's color. [00:23:18] Speaker A: That sounds pretty easy. [00:23:19] Speaker B: So if their hair is red but it's not, you have to put green in it. Yes, I know. It's a little scary. [00:23:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:28] Speaker B: But when someone comes in with jet black box dye hair and they say they want to be blonde by the end of the day, I say, no, that it cannot happen. If you want hair on your head, no. And so I always, always, always break down the process. I show pictures I give pricing. It is a very tedious appointment, and I tend to under promise so that I can over deliver at the very end of that service. [00:24:03] Speaker A: Nice. [00:24:04] Speaker B: Nine and a half times out of ten, they're pretty happy with their hair. [00:24:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Nice little humble brag there. [00:24:13] Speaker B: Oh, hey, there's that little half half in there. [00:24:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Sophie. I wish I had more of her firmness of. I'm definitely more of a yes man. Like, yes. Yeah, let's do it. Go into a room and freak out. Like, how are we gonna actually do it? And then I just figure it out, or do my best to figure it out where Sophie is just very like, no, that can't happen at all. You're ridiculous for thinking that. [00:24:36] Speaker B: I'm not that harsh. [00:24:38] Speaker A: You're not. You can be. And if you need to be, you are. But she. Yeah, I mean, I think it's a great trait to have. I mean, yes, sometimes it might be a little intense with me as your husband, but, um, she's very firm, very direct, very realistic. And, I mean, I'm bragging on her. Cause she's my wife, but also, she's been doing a great job. Like, she's. She's way too far booked out, like, 810 twelve. You said you got people booking all the way out to, like, thanksgiving. [00:25:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I've had a couple clients plan their schedules around Thanksgiving, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not even 4 July yet, folks. It's 100 degrees out of. So, yeah, it's. I'm normally, it's about eight weeks or so. Like a solid eight weeks with the little wiggle room here and there. [00:25:30] Speaker A: Yep. So you maybe need to do a price increase and. Yeah, that's a whole other business conversation. But being that far booked out, having that much success, that is one way to help kind of navigate some of the fluff, so to say. But if you could sovie, what, over the past three years, really kind of since I launched l o t, you guys took the bigger step with the salon studio. Now that you guys are in, how has. What have you learned as a small. I don't wanna say smaller entrepreneur, but, like, if you really wanted to, you could probably take this to another level. Um, you're not. I know there's some other reasons there, obviously, but could you share on that of how this has been a sweet spot for you, but you have ambition, but you also have realistic expectations. [00:26:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, it's a good. Where we are currently located and what we're currently doing with the salon is that sweet spot? It's not too much. It's not too little. It's just right in between. And like you said, I know that if I really took the time and energy to build Salon 31, it would take off. I'm confident in that. Emily and I have a great thing going. We work really well together. She's extremely talented. I'm pretty good at what I do, and so I also know that if I were to do that, it would take away from my role as a mother at the moment, and I'm just not willing to sacrifice that just yet. You know, maybe when the boys are older or something, then I could potentially have more capacity for that. But my first and foremost job role is taking care of those boys. And so I've just. I've learned that it takes a lot of behind the scenes to make a bigger business run, and I just don't think I can do that right now. And that's okay. I don't lose sleep over it. It's not something that makes me feel some type of way. It just. It is what it is. Completely content with that. And the other side of it is, you also are running a business and you work your tail off, and there's got to be some give and take, and so we can't both be on the front lines grinding away. [00:28:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:19] Speaker B: And I have to be able to allow you to do all the things that you need to do for. Lltdehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe and that's a sacrifice that I'm more than willing to make. [00:28:31] Speaker A: Thanks, sweetheart. I appreciate that. Could you unpack a little bit more of that? I think, you know, for me, I grew up in a probably more traditional home where my dad worked and up early out of the house and then home by dinner. I never really wondered where he was. Orlando, of course. I wish I could have been with him more, but, like, you know, he was always at practices, always there. My mom was as, you know, like the mom, she cleaned, she cooked, she took us at school, all of that stuff. Kind of more of that traditional. Traditional where now it's like some households, ours, we need income from both, but also, we're also both entrepreneurs. Going back to what you just said, how have you navigated that as a mom and as a personal entrepreneur? But also going back to what you just said, the sacrifices kind of that you're making, where to. Some people might look like it's me being selfish, but obviously it's our relationship. How would you add light to a conversation like that? [00:29:39] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, that was the sacrifice part, was really really difficult for me in the beginning, if I'm totally honest. [00:29:48] Speaker A: Were you? Because of what, you just weren't prepared or. [00:29:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I wasn't really prepared. You know, your mom and I had had certain conversations about what that looks like, what that looked like for them, but you don't really. You don't fully grasp it until you're in the midst of it, and that goes for most things. And so I just wasn't really prepared for what that looked like. And just the inconsistency in your schedule in the beginning, especially. And that really threw me for a loop there for a bit. But I would confidently say over time, that I have understood a lot more of what it needs to look like for you to be able to be the provider, the head of our household. And that takes a lot of sacrifice. And, you know, your mom and I have had more than one or two conversations about this, and I am so grateful for her guidance and her wisdom through that because it is not easy. It is very hard. And, yeah, it takes a lot of communication, a lot of understanding of one another, and just the willingness to know and trust your spouse. [00:31:16] Speaker A: We're definitely not perfect at it. I mean, it's sacrificed from both sides. [00:31:20] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:31:20] Speaker A: For sure. I mean, there's obviously many days I wish I could be home more, but then there's also times where clients are out of town, and I'm able to be home in the morning for a long time, so there's some freedom there. But also, yeah, really hard moments where I have to be out because we're doing an event and I have something to be present. I want to shift a little bit to our little guys. And talking about you being a mom to six kids, that's a lot. Could you share how motherhood has been? So let's start with Jeremiah and Josiah. They are our two little beautiful boys here on earth with us. We did home births with both of them. Could you share a little bit of our pregnancy journeys and having those two little guys, and then we can dive a little bit deeper into the rest. [00:32:18] Speaker B: Yeah. So you and I are fertile, Myrtle. So it took no time getting pregnant, which is a huge gift. And both pregnancies, Jeremiah and Josiah, were really easy, super seamless. I had no complications, and I chose to do. We chose to do, rather, home births with both of our boys. And I would note, given the opportunity, I would not change a thing. [00:32:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:57] Speaker B: You know, I'm not naive to the fact that that can change. And, you know, sometimes things, certain pregnancies. [00:33:08] Speaker A: Are different, and so of course, if it's safe. And, yeah, we're checking and crossing out all those boxes and we're doing home births. [00:33:17] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. If it. Yeah, if all the box are checked, all the boxes are checked, then home birth is where I will be every single time. [00:33:26] Speaker A: And how could you shed some light onto maybe some moms that are interested in doing home birth but are absolutely terrified of the pain, the unknown, all of that? That's not accepted as much by society, but really, it's a very beautiful safe. Like, I mean, there's a lot of amazing practitioners and people that play huge roles in that process that make it amazing. [00:33:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I definitely have to give a huge, huge, huge shout out to our midwife, Kori. She's with barefoot midwifery and she is a beast. Extremely knowledgeable, and in my opinion, one of the best midwives in DFW. No doubt. But, yeah, I mean, you're doing natural childbirth, there's gonna be pain. It is the long suffering, so to speak. And you could have a six hour labor, like I did, fast and furious, which has its pros and cons, or you could have a 36 hours natural labor that's obviously not as fast, that also has pros and cons. But yes, there will be pain and you just have to know your body and you have to surrender to a lot of that, mentally and physically, obviously. [00:35:05] Speaker A: But how would you say. Just because I know I helped you on it. How would you say your fitness and your mindset helped set you up for success on game day, going through contractions and all of that? [00:35:22] Speaker B: Yeah, I think. I mean, working out plays a huge role in a lot of aspects of pregnancy and delivery. I think being able to work through certain sets during a workout and knowing that there's an end to it helps shift that mindset. So during contractions, they're not forever. They might be every minute on the minute, but I know that there will be a break at some point. And ultimately the end goal is getting that baby here outside of my body. And so there is an end to it. And I know that it's not forever. And so being able to just take one contraction at a time is the mindset that you have to have going into that. And again, like, just because my first labor was super fast didn't mean that my second labor was going to be that way. So I had to mentally prepare for round two, that it could be twelve plus hours or it could be just as fast. And luckily for me, it was just as fast. [00:36:26] Speaker A: Well, since Jeremiah and Josiah we've had quite the experience on loss. We've. You okay sharing all this? Yeah, it's fine. We've lost four little babies. Um, not fun. So, yeah, we've lost four little babies. A little girl named Joan who I found out on my 30th birthday we were gonna have her. And then we lost two more. And then we lost another little boy who actually had a chromosome disorder, trisomy 14. So, Sophie, how would you. How have you navigated that? How has having two, quote unquote perfect pregnancies, fast pregnancies? All of our pregnancies got pregnant very quick, which is a huge blessing. And we do not take for granted, as we've had close friends that have not had that experience. But for us in our story, how has those losses kind of added some sobriety to you as a mom? [00:37:43] Speaker B: Yeah, it puts everything into perspective in a lot of different ways. You know, it allows me to be even more grateful for Jeremiah and Josiah, and it allows me to see that all of the little things in the day to day just don't matter. And it's easier said than done, for sure, but it has absolutely shifted my perspective on the meaning of life. And it has not been easy. But God has been good through it all. He is gracious and he is faithful and he is kind. So I wouldn't choose to. To go through all of this again. But if I had to, I would. And that's because I wouldn't know God the way that I know him today if it weren't for the suffering that we've gone through, through our losses. And I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for that. So I would take that valley again. [00:39:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:16] Speaker B: If that's what I was called to. [00:39:19] Speaker A: Yes. Easier said than done, for sure. Yeah. I think for myself, it's. I made an instagram post a while back on when the due date would have been. [00:39:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:31] Speaker A: For. I don't know. Which one was it? Jonah. [00:39:35] Speaker B: For our fourth. [00:39:36] Speaker A: For the fourth. For Jonah. Gosh. Yeah. Jonah. I made a post about Sophie telling me that today would have been in the due date and I didn't remember that, but also we had lost four. And just the madness of life and all the emotion that that came with of, like, man, I should remember these dates, but I don't because we lost four. And also, I've got two guys here on this side of earth that I need to care for and love. And if anything, it's almost made me have more compassion and appreciation for Jesus and for God or with God, rather than kind of like, how could you? How dare you? Just because maybe going back to kind of what you said, it's made me have more appreciation of what Jesus did on the cross for us, which I know sounds so cheesy, but also like, experiencing God in the lens of a father losing his son right in that instance. And that's where I've just. My heart's been softened a lot as, like, God as a father seeing his son Jesus on the cross and it not being fun and it being hurtful and, like, you can feel it to your core. And I think that's why I ended up really, like, making that post is because I want to encourage other fathers to be open and honest about the losses of their miscarriages. Because, excuse me, they need to be there, of course, for their spouse. But it's also okay to be upset and to, like, I was expecting you to cry more on this, not for any specific reason whatever, because I was trying to be good podcast host. I do want to get this out, though, but just to. To know that it's okay and it's right to, like, long for something that you. You really love and you want to have. And it's just a bigger reminder that, like, man, it's. It's hard a lot of days to believe in a good God and a God that really cares for us. So how could a God do this to us? But man, it's. It's the only God that we get to choose to have a relationship with and actually wants to be connected with us. And, um, it's just kind of one of those things where it's like you envision yourself being wrapped in his really big arms, like, as a young child and just like wanting to punch and fight and just knowing that he can take it. And so that's where I think my wrestle has been with him of, like, just get it out and it's okay to get it out. [00:42:40] Speaker B: He can handle our anger for sure. [00:42:42] Speaker A: Exactly. So, yeah, going back to, like, what you said, like, yes, we have thought and are hopeful that we might experience more life of children on this side of heaven, but we're also prepared that we might go through more loss. And it's a huge reminder that we just need to continue to press into our faith and into the Lord and know that his ultimate plan is good and that our final resting place is not here. [00:43:15] Speaker B: Amen. [00:43:16] Speaker A: And it makes me even more excited to go to the. Go to heaven. I want to be here as long as possible, but it makes me even more excited to be in heaven with those other kids that we're going to get to experience life with forever. [00:43:31] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. [00:43:33] Speaker A: So anything else to add on that? [00:43:39] Speaker B: Yeah. There's always purpose in our pain. You know, it does not go unused or unseen. And God has tested the strength of the ground before us. And so we know that, like, as we walk through certain valleys and all of our trials and tribulations, that, one, we're not alone in it. And our suffering pales in comparison to the suffering that Jesus experienced. And that, I think, gives me comfort knowing that we have a God that is so compassionate and that he hurts when we hurt and he knows exactly how we feel. And so it's, yeah, it's just, it's comforting and it's reassuring. And I know that he didn't fail then and he hasn't failed now, and so he's not going to fail in the future, and I can rest in that. And so whatever may come, I know that he is good regardless. [00:44:57] Speaker A: Yeah, that's good. I think I've heard that before, that there's purpose and pain to press into the pain, to find purpose, to find passion, and God obviously brings fruit out of that and is able to do that and 1000% can. And I think, yeah. We've had unbelievably close friends near and dear to us that have experienced loss on an even greater scale. And being able to press into that pain and those trials with them, it's just, there is a man, if you've experienced pain and loss and you really press into that morning and just let it out, there's just, there is a. A intense calmness and, like, sobriety in those moments of, like, just going back to what you said of, like, man, there's nothing else matters in this world. And it just brings down the reality of, like, man. We just, at the end of the day, have each other and the people we love, and those are the things that are, that are and should be most important in helping be there for each other and for our friends and the people that have been there for us has been so huge. [00:46:21] Speaker B: Yeah. And, you know, the Lord does most of the work when we are in our lowest of lows. And there's a beauty in that, there's a sanctification in that, and there is beauty from the ashes. And so it's, you know, like you were saying, just being willing to press into it and to not just sweep it under the rug, but to allow God to really work in that and prune those parts of us and just, you know, fully surrender to it. [00:46:54] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. Well, by no means. I don't think. I don't want that to, like, end in this sad manner, because we're definitely not sad. We have moments of, you know, times that we wish we had those kids here, and those are real and authentic, and that's okay, of course, but we're also so grateful for our crazy little guys. Yes. So v actually came in this morning and was like, I don't know what happened to Jeremy, but I think they chugged an energy drink. That's them. Every day. They're just like tasmanian devils beating their heads off the wall and off of each other, and it's just madness 24/7 yeah, they're wild. But I do want to wrap up. So, soph, as we conclude, love asking our guest, and you kind of. You can retouch or reiterate some of the things you discussed, but based off of who you are, where you've been, and where you're going, what are a few more kind of encouragements or words of wisdom that you think could add value to our audience and our listeners? [00:47:55] Speaker B: Yeah. One of the biggest ones is not making mountaintops out of molehills. I heard that. I don't even know when or when. [00:48:09] Speaker A: But something could be a song. [00:48:11] Speaker B: It's. It. It might be, but just knowing that, you know, as a mom, specifically the laundry sitting on the kitchen table, it will get put up. The. The dishes that I didn't get to will get put away. You know, the. The vacuuming and all of that and the mess and the chaos that those little boys make, it will get cleaned up. But to just be present and when they are fighting or they've done something that has really just lit a fire in me, just kind of taking that quick self evaluation of, is this really that big of a deal? Do I really need to be worked up about this or feel anxious about it? The answer is most likely no. [00:49:01] Speaker A: So don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Got it. [00:49:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:05] Speaker A: That's good. Yeah. [00:49:06] Speaker B: And then the other one, I'm gonna read from my phone, because I can't memorize that. There is a quote from one of my favorite books that I read during the, like, right in the middle of our miscarriages. [00:49:22] Speaker A: What's the book? [00:49:23] Speaker B: It's called Hinds feet on high places. [00:49:26] Speaker A: Do you know the author? [00:49:28] Speaker B: Hannah something. You can find it on Amazon. And there's two versions. There's an illustrated version, which was my favorite because it's just a beautiful, beautiful book. And then there's the non illustrated, which is. [00:49:45] Speaker A: What's the name of it again? [00:49:46] Speaker B: Hinds feet on high places. [00:49:48] Speaker A: All right. [00:49:50] Speaker B: And so one of the quotes from this book says, lord, teach me to rejoice and be glad in the valleys just as the streams so willingly flow from high to low. Lord, guide me through the things unseen. Let me be reminded that the greatest victories are often like streams flowing from high to low in the valleys of the unknown. So I think, to me, it's encouraging knowing that, you know, we have our highs and lows in life, but just being willing to take on the lows and, like, we just were talking about just pressing into that and knowing that there is work to be done within that that will shine brighter when you're on the mountaintop, if you've done the work and if you've allowed God to really intercede. And so I would say those are probably my two biggest takeaways, is not making mountains out of molehills and to just take on the lows and knowing that, you know, often it's from high to low. [00:51:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. It's never consistent. Perfect. [00:51:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:14] Speaker A: Both ways. It's never completely perfect, and it's never gonna always be horrible or bad. [00:51:19] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, you've got to think, like, if you're driving up, it's like the road to Hana in Maui. You know, you go up, but then you level out for a bit. [00:51:32] Speaker A: Yep. [00:51:32] Speaker B: And then you kind of make some sideways turns and some weebly wobbly almost click. Yeah. And then you go back up and then you level out again. [00:51:43] Speaker A: Yep. [00:51:44] Speaker B: And so that's kind of like life, you know, we don't ever just. It's not a straight shot, so. [00:51:51] Speaker A: Well, babe. Soph. I can call you babe. Cause you're my wife. Thanks for coming on to the episode, to the podcast, the proper form podcast. This might be my favorite one. Thank you for your rawness, your vulnerability, your emotion. Thank you for being a great mom and a great wife to myself and to our boys. And just thank you for continuing to love us well and care really well for your clients and for your people, because I know that they love you so much. Your family. My family loves you so much. With three sisters on my side, they all love her. I. A lot. I can say that confidently. So I think we've done pretty well on being able to win over our in laws. Me with your five brothers and you with my three sisters. So say we can give high five for that. But I love you so much. Thank you for coming on the pro performer podcast. See you guys on the next one.